I don't have time for this right now, but when do we ever have time right?
So much has been going on and to be fair I have neglected this part of my life. Part of me blames the "real world", internship searches, projects, exams, sunny Vancouver days. Part of me knows I have been avoiding writing because so much is going on and I am living in denial to some extent. Ok, to a large extent. That's ok. We all do it from time to time I am just clinging to a bubble I know is soon to burst. I am not ready. That being said those realities and dream worlds are not why I am putting off what needs to be done, to write here.
It is a mid April miracle! I finally get feedback. Yup, it only took me nearly 3 years of feedback training and 8 months of constant critique of my academic work to truly understand what it means to be egoless and grateful for someone telling me I can do better. In this case, I can do WAY WAY better. It is almost internship time and I am not on the ball. I am not even close. I have been in fact avoiding the ball like the plague. I was finally read the riot act, on two occasions, by two people I respect very much. Then I proceeded to act like a small child, have a pity party, and feel sorry for myself for a day and a half. Then I got shit done. To be fair to all involved my resume read like that of a high schooler, or perhaps like that of someone just out of an arts undergrad from a reputable university "out east". It was not pretty and would not be effective at all to actually get me a job I wanted. I passed it on to someone who I trust and who's opinion on the matter of these things I respect very much. I was super nervous. What if they realized I was an idiot. What if they finally believed me that it may all have been a fluke. Funny enough what I got back was harsh and incredibly fair feedback. I was being held to a relentless standard of excellence no matter how far away I seemed. Rather than feel upset or slighted I felt truly relieved. First, someone had freed me from the out of date and immature employment I clung to so dearly and second, this person was good on their word. They were being completely honest even if it meant my feelings may have been hurt. The best part was that this feedback made me want to try again, and again. I wanted to get it right. I wanted to submit something worthy of the hard work and skills I had accumulated over the years.
This means more risks, more demanding feedback, more great jobs and opportunities.
So much has been going on and to be fair I have neglected this part of my life. Part of me blames the "real world", internship searches, projects, exams, sunny Vancouver days. Part of me knows I have been avoiding writing because so much is going on and I am living in denial to some extent. Ok, to a large extent. That's ok. We all do it from time to time I am just clinging to a bubble I know is soon to burst. I am not ready. That being said those realities and dream worlds are not why I am putting off what needs to be done, to write here.
It is a mid April miracle! I finally get feedback. Yup, it only took me nearly 3 years of feedback training and 8 months of constant critique of my academic work to truly understand what it means to be egoless and grateful for someone telling me I can do better. In this case, I can do WAY WAY better. It is almost internship time and I am not on the ball. I am not even close. I have been in fact avoiding the ball like the plague. I was finally read the riot act, on two occasions, by two people I respect very much. Then I proceeded to act like a small child, have a pity party, and feel sorry for myself for a day and a half. Then I got shit done. To be fair to all involved my resume read like that of a high schooler, or perhaps like that of someone just out of an arts undergrad from a reputable university "out east". It was not pretty and would not be effective at all to actually get me a job I wanted. I passed it on to someone who I trust and who's opinion on the matter of these things I respect very much. I was super nervous. What if they realized I was an idiot. What if they finally believed me that it may all have been a fluke. Funny enough what I got back was harsh and incredibly fair feedback. I was being held to a relentless standard of excellence no matter how far away I seemed. Rather than feel upset or slighted I felt truly relieved. First, someone had freed me from the out of date and immature employment I clung to so dearly and second, this person was good on their word. They were being completely honest even if it meant my feelings may have been hurt. The best part was that this feedback made me want to try again, and again. I wanted to get it right. I wanted to submit something worthy of the hard work and skills I had accumulated over the years.
This means more risks, more demanding feedback, more great jobs and opportunities.
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