Well. This is almost it. Last MBA exam, complete. Last MBA class, finished. Just 3 papers and one presentation between me and the vast unknown.
I'm not sure whether I am in mourning over the passing of something so poignant, so wonderful, so beyond everything I had expected of it, or simply relieved, relieved to have my time and energy my own again (soon). In some ways I am excited for what comes next because for me it may mean new cities and jobs and communities. A whole new life. I am also nervous. Nervous about the compromise I will inevitably have to make to balance having a dream job, money to pay off looming student loans, the relationship I'v been waiting 7 months to be part of, and to be in a city that inspires me. It seems unlikely that I can have it all, and why should I be so lucky? My selfishness is a thirst I can't seem to quench.
With all this being said and done these last few days are something special. I am no longer the girl who nervously entered a program she felt she didn't belong in 16 short months ago. I am no longer the one who refuses to show weakness or vulnerability for fear I may get attached, get close, or worse someone would figure out I was just a girl who sold stretchy pants and had an archaeology degree, that I wasn't cut out for business school. It is not just my confidence that has come leaps and bounds in the last year and a half but also my capacity to get shit done. My skill set and tool box are far greater than they were when I moved to Vancouver and so are the friendships that I have made, or developed. I think by far the greatest change has come from within though. My sense of self is far greater than it has ever been. While no where near perfect, I have a better understanding of my strengths, I am no longer paralyzed by vulnerability, I am open to failure and excited by the opportunities to improve.
I don't believe it is a coincidence that my last class of the program was Leadership. This morning exemplifed what we have learned over the past year and a half. It was a recognition not of who we were but of who we are bound to become. To be honest I think that's what we all need right now. It was lesson in the people we are surrounded by and what we have been for each other. It was also a wonderful opportunity to discover what we would all really do if money, fear, and time were no object. And we drank prosecco so that was nice.
While it's not quite over yet it is definitely the beginning of the very end and something that may take a little getting used to. I am sure it will hit home harder as the week goes on and the unknown of what will I do, where will I live, and how will get a tiny bit closer to being figured out.
I'm not sure whether I am in mourning over the passing of something so poignant, so wonderful, so beyond everything I had expected of it, or simply relieved, relieved to have my time and energy my own again (soon). In some ways I am excited for what comes next because for me it may mean new cities and jobs and communities. A whole new life. I am also nervous. Nervous about the compromise I will inevitably have to make to balance having a dream job, money to pay off looming student loans, the relationship I'v been waiting 7 months to be part of, and to be in a city that inspires me. It seems unlikely that I can have it all, and why should I be so lucky? My selfishness is a thirst I can't seem to quench.
With all this being said and done these last few days are something special. I am no longer the girl who nervously entered a program she felt she didn't belong in 16 short months ago. I am no longer the one who refuses to show weakness or vulnerability for fear I may get attached, get close, or worse someone would figure out I was just a girl who sold stretchy pants and had an archaeology degree, that I wasn't cut out for business school. It is not just my confidence that has come leaps and bounds in the last year and a half but also my capacity to get shit done. My skill set and tool box are far greater than they were when I moved to Vancouver and so are the friendships that I have made, or developed. I think by far the greatest change has come from within though. My sense of self is far greater than it has ever been. While no where near perfect, I have a better understanding of my strengths, I am no longer paralyzed by vulnerability, I am open to failure and excited by the opportunities to improve.
I don't believe it is a coincidence that my last class of the program was Leadership. This morning exemplifed what we have learned over the past year and a half. It was a recognition not of who we were but of who we are bound to become. To be honest I think that's what we all need right now. It was lesson in the people we are surrounded by and what we have been for each other. It was also a wonderful opportunity to discover what we would all really do if money, fear, and time were no object. And we drank prosecco so that was nice.
While it's not quite over yet it is definitely the beginning of the very end and something that may take a little getting used to. I am sure it will hit home harder as the week goes on and the unknown of what will I do, where will I live, and how will get a tiny bit closer to being figured out.
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