Skinny Love.

Sitting near an open window proves challenging for me for a number of reasons. The first might be that my contact with the outside world is often just walking from my house to a vehicle then from vehicle to buildings on campus. Sometimes I walk out of my building or end up a little farther afield and am reminded that there is more than just off white walls and dark city streets. While it is a hard to be removed from the outside these glimmers of light and colour, a cool breeze across collar bones, is what i live for. Today was a perfect fall day. The whole air smelt of it and everything was saturated with colour. Red leaves, grass still so green, sky blue. The whole day was a gift.

I spent much of the middle of it caught by every rustle of breeze I glimpsed through the open window. Feeling my muscles tighten under my skin at the touch of a breeze. I wanted to be out there, in it all. Funny enough I should have known this would happen. I am past my 4 month rule and it is fall. Those things in combination make it next to impossible to sit still, to be in the moment, to be here. Itchy feet and a persistent need for change drive all the fibbers of my being and yet... I have committed to something for the first time in as long as I can remember. It feels good but, like birds migrating south for the winter, my heart pulls me towards newness, adventure, something different. Something more. Not that I can handle more right now, I am so saturated.

To end the story on a high note I did get outside today. My jacket abandoned and the cool fall breeze bringing much needed colour to my cheeks. I found solace in the trees of campus and in the golden light of evening. This nervous energy will just have to be tamed and i must convince my heart not to try to run this time.