Wide Open Spaces.

Something’s are hard to put your finger on. These are the subtleties that make up our lives. That are what push us beyond the day to day unremarkable. I am blessed these days; my life is full of extra ordinary. I can’t stress enough that this is part comes from the space in my life these days. Where is this space you may ask? Yes, I am busy. Yes, I am perpetually exhausted. Yes, it seems like I have no time for anything other than 12 hour school days, followed by never-ending hours of homework but this space is something more. It is the fact that because I have so little time so many trivial worries have had to give up their prime real estate in my brain to make way for the space I need.

It is with this clear head that decision-making seems to come a little easier. I am more of a ‘truth machine’ (as my golden girl would say) than one that makes meaning out of every tiny thing. I simply don’t have the time or energy to give up space for trying to make up things that are inauthentic.

I have long known I am a much more true version of myself when I am busy. Simply for the reasons above but also because when I do more there are more wins in a day, also more losses but who’s counting. The really pressing issues are the ones that matter and the others, well I just deal with them and get on with it.

There is that same feeling when you go to your first yoga class after running a race, or a long week. Space is wrung out of you, you feel stiff and inflexible and bound. Slowly, subtlety you find places to let go, breathe a little life into. For me it is in my hips that I find the space that parallels my life. Twisting and folding and breathing I can feel the tiny pockets of openness in the sinews lying just on top of my hipbones.  Yes, there is so much tightness other wise; my shoulders and neck don’t move the way I wish. My glutes and pecs and hamstrings are busy resisting my good intentions, like my program resists my good intention to get some sleep. But my hips… the space there mimics the precious space in my mind.

All in all, it is humbling and inspiring. I feel that if nothing else these days are teaching me about letting go and finding places that allow me to create and not get caught up. ‘And that has made all the difference…’