It's funny where life takes you.
For all my years and stubborn ways I always said I would end up in Calgary, that it was truly the only city I could ever live in. For my first months in Vancouver I dug my heels in hard, and when the topic of jobs and money came up Calgary seemed like the best, the only choice.
Being back, for a very very short time, did help me realize that yes, I love the city, but no, it's not as perfect as I made it out to be. The funny thing is, no where is. All that I held on to wasn't really there. Most of my friends have physically moved on. Many west, to Vancouver or the island. If they haven't left the city they have found new jobs, new lives. The routine we clung to in the spring no longer common place. There are still the old haunts and likely many new ones but that is the nice thing about change, it doesn't stop for anyone.
So that's it. It's a little scary but all so clear. I am without destination, as is usual, but also without a home base. Yes, Nelson, and my parents will be here but it is their life and community, I am just a periodic visitor. Vancouver is also a semi permanent home but without the people, without those crazy friends who support me through all my questionable and epic life decisions I am not sure it would feel like anything more than a tiny condo in the big city.
Instead of looking at this like a problem it is instead such an amazing and rare opportunity. Who knows where I will end up but the amazing thing is... it could be anywhere.
In addition I find myself, one week into a short 3 week break, already chomping at the bit. My body, and its desire to sleep 12 hours a day to make up for the minimal at best sleep I was getting during the last few months, craves this relaxation and slowness but my mind is racing. I want back at it, I want stimulation. I want more.
Tomorrow perhaps.
Big Kootaney lake love.
For all my years and stubborn ways I always said I would end up in Calgary, that it was truly the only city I could ever live in. For my first months in Vancouver I dug my heels in hard, and when the topic of jobs and money came up Calgary seemed like the best, the only choice.
Being back, for a very very short time, did help me realize that yes, I love the city, but no, it's not as perfect as I made it out to be. The funny thing is, no where is. All that I held on to wasn't really there. Most of my friends have physically moved on. Many west, to Vancouver or the island. If they haven't left the city they have found new jobs, new lives. The routine we clung to in the spring no longer common place. There are still the old haunts and likely many new ones but that is the nice thing about change, it doesn't stop for anyone.
So that's it. It's a little scary but all so clear. I am without destination, as is usual, but also without a home base. Yes, Nelson, and my parents will be here but it is their life and community, I am just a periodic visitor. Vancouver is also a semi permanent home but without the people, without those crazy friends who support me through all my questionable and epic life decisions I am not sure it would feel like anything more than a tiny condo in the big city.
Instead of looking at this like a problem it is instead such an amazing and rare opportunity. Who knows where I will end up but the amazing thing is... it could be anywhere.
In addition I find myself, one week into a short 3 week break, already chomping at the bit. My body, and its desire to sleep 12 hours a day to make up for the minimal at best sleep I was getting during the last few months, craves this relaxation and slowness but my mind is racing. I want back at it, I want stimulation. I want more.
Tomorrow perhaps.
Big Kootaney lake love.
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