It's funny what happens when you realize that so much of your ego got left behind. I will admit that in the hectic pace of the last few months I lost a lot. A lot of sleep, a lot of pens and pencils to my cavernous purse, a lot of hours on buses. I lost motivation to take care of myself and to stay in shape, as I am finding out the hard way today. What I also realized, sitting here at the base of a glacier, is that I have lost that little piece of me that cared so much what others thought. Where I use to be anxious about seeming less hardcore to stop for a mid morning coffee I am happy to sit here, warming up thoroughly frozen feet while Cadillac Ranch plays in the speakers reminding me why west is best. I am content to have the luxury, for a few weeks, to do exactly what I want.
Being back in the mountains also reminds me what lights me up. It's hard not to feel alive here, adrenaline flowing, muscle memory waking up unused tissue. The sound and feel of boots clicking into bindings will always give me goosebumps. More so it is the space. I often feel claustrophobic in the city. It is amplified when my time is not my own. The last few days I can feel a lightness flowing through me, the nudges of creativity and my brain being used for something other than processing required business problems. It feels good and I am beginning to get a sense of how refreshed I will feel in a few weeks time.
All in all I am happy, excited to reconnect with friends and take the time to create new relationships. I am ever grateful for the time and space to do just that!
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