Vancouver is my fickle lover. One day the city seduces me with expansive ocean views, sunny days, light reflected off glass and water. Others, he traps me in my room, dashing my daily plans with scorn. He pulls the light from my skies and soaks me to the bone, damp and cold. There are moments when I am elated, when he shows in colour and sound and bustling streets. There are days when it takes all my energy to love him the way I know I should. This city that has given me so much but who treats me with indifference. Who lures me to bed with promises of brighter days only to wake me up the next morning, rain pelting my windows.
This city has helped me rediscover being ok in darkness. This city has helped me to appreciate melancholy music, the sound track to rainy afternoons. It has given me purpose to dress with pops of colour to contrast the grey that often surrounds me. But, like any relationship where we are forced to grasp at straws, I will leave this city one day. Leave behind the damp grey loveless winter days for brightness. For warmth. For a city that cares.
But even the fickle lovers that leave us confused and down, we love them anyway. It is compassion and a need to live in both city and nature that moves us to be here in this place. The grey makes us all the more glad to see blue sky, to feel warm sun on our faces. The rain brings green year round. With the dark there is light.
This city has helped me rediscover being ok in darkness. This city has helped me to appreciate melancholy music, the sound track to rainy afternoons. It has given me purpose to dress with pops of colour to contrast the grey that often surrounds me. But, like any relationship where we are forced to grasp at straws, I will leave this city one day. Leave behind the damp grey loveless winter days for brightness. For warmth. For a city that cares.
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