There are sometimes-fleeting moments where life just is. All the big plans, the lists of what should and shouldn't be, writing down what you thought you wanted, what you thought you didn't want. When this is all too much, or you just cease to make big plans for the universe, all the to do lists and boxes to check just fall away and life gives you exactly what you were looking for all a long. It gives you what you need.
If you had asked me a year ago, almost to the week, what I would be doing now my answer would likely be anything but what I am doing. I would have said I would be with the same boy (who was later bound to break my heart). I would have likely believed I would still be in Calgary, managing a store, living in my old house, in my old neighbourhood. My dream of moving west continuously pushed back, pushed down. I wouldn't have guessed everything would have been different. That I would have had to throw aside everything that just wasn't right and finally, slowly allow some new light in.
That's the funny thing about time. It changes everything. I used to think Law School was my only path. That I wasn't any good at business, that I could never be successful as my own boss. I stuck tight to my plan: the job I should have, where I would live, the man I would be with. I defined it all down to the last detail. I can say with an exhausted happiness that none of this worked out. That none of what I had planned for myself is anywhere close to what indeed transpired. I spent a lot of this last year wishing it were different, heart bleeding in what I saw as unnecessarily hard. I am better for it as I see now. I learned big lessons fast it seems. I am becoming the lovely young woman I have always hoped to be.
I am inspired by newness, by change, by learning from the hard knocks. My heart skips a beat at this last year.
If you had asked me a year ago, almost to the week, what I would be doing now my answer would likely be anything but what I am doing. I would have said I would be with the same boy (who was later bound to break my heart). I would have likely believed I would still be in Calgary, managing a store, living in my old house, in my old neighbourhood. My dream of moving west continuously pushed back, pushed down. I wouldn't have guessed everything would have been different. That I would have had to throw aside everything that just wasn't right and finally, slowly allow some new light in.
That's the funny thing about time. It changes everything. I used to think Law School was my only path. That I wasn't any good at business, that I could never be successful as my own boss. I stuck tight to my plan: the job I should have, where I would live, the man I would be with. I defined it all down to the last detail. I can say with an exhausted happiness that none of this worked out. That none of what I had planned for myself is anywhere close to what indeed transpired. I spent a lot of this last year wishing it were different, heart bleeding in what I saw as unnecessarily hard. I am better for it as I see now. I learned big lessons fast it seems. I am becoming the lovely young woman I have always hoped to be.
I am inspired by newness, by change, by learning from the hard knocks. My heart skips a beat at this last year.
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