A Remarkable Stillness.

Stillness.

I like high volume. I crave busyness, movement, speed, and distraction. The drain these things put on me makes me feel alive. Pushing hard when you feel like you may not have enough left in the tank can be thrilling. I am looking forward to months and months ahead of me like this. Living for the rush of it all has gotten me into and out of the best and worst times and that bodes well for a program where I will have to play all out, full on, for a prolonged period of time but a realization has hit me slowly this summer. It resonates in my bones and when I go with out I feel a thirst deep in my core. When it is satiated it feels like deep cool spring water filling me up, cell by cell. It is for stillness. Coming home from dinner tonight it hit me again, like it has so many times over the past month. I was looking up at the stars, head thrown back, and the cool air flowing over my collarbones, my favourite feeling in the world, and I knew. Stillness. That is what brings me peace.

Some might argue that more balance would limit this pursuit of speed and stillness in exchange for a mediocre pace to my life. I would like to disagree. I live for the sweet contrast that comes with a passion for extremes. And finally, after most of the last twenty-six years, I can place my love of the outdoors, my need to be near trees and mountains and more often than not, to be near water. My time in Whistler, in Nelson, on and or near the islands around Vancouver have really taught me something about myself, that I need to slow down once in a while. Sit still. Take it all in. Breathe in fresh air, eat good food, love everything around me. See beauty in the small and the big. It fills me up the way summer camp used to. I feel saturated with health, with happiness and with the energy to go back into the city and do big things.

Funny enough it is becoming crystal clear why I am so drawn to living away from some of the bustle of big cities. My time in Calgary was marked with strong feelings of living in a close knit community, with drives to the mountains, with making the most of what was not big city living in the heart of an urban centre. This must be quite rare and living right smack in the centre of an internationally recognized city such as Vancouver doesn’t afford me the opportunity of stillness to balance out the manic speed of it all. Laid back West Coast and all. It is becoming clear that the draw of small mountain towns, island living, and community-focused areas near nature are truly the revitalizing properties of stillness and peace. Of the remarkable beauty in the mundane and unremarkable.