The only moment we were alone.

I’ve fallen for yin.

Yin yoga is the balance to a firey power class. It is the melty, slow, introspective counterpart to a more strength based, quicker paced yoga style. It is my new love.

I have always had a soft spot for a good slow stretch class but lately it is my passion. It helps I guess, that my new favourite instructor has a voice that is soft and sweet like a bird and buttery smooth all at once. That her classes are just what I need when I need them. And these days boy do I need them. A lot is going on here, especially in my head, and it’s all I can do to keep from getting, from going.

Last night’s class came at the end of a long and reasonably unproductive day. I haven’t been myself lately. Blaming it on the weather, on transitions, on everything I can. When it really comes down to it I am simply that. Down. I store it all in my shoulders, in my hips for sure, in my kidneys, in my jaw. All the anxiety, the worry, the inexplicable tiredness, it is printed and drawn across the connective tissues and organs of my body. Yin is a release from this. For a class where much of the hour and a half is spent laying or sitting, most often in heavily supported postures, it is always a challenge for me. To be present to what is going on inside, to the sensations in those tight spots is harder sometimes that sun salutation after sun salutation, a strong standing series and a multitude of chaturanga dandasanas. Boy I was sweating it out last night. Working hard to try to get some energy flowing.

Needless to say I always feel better when I practice, no matter what class, no matter what I do in my home practice, the simple act of coming to my mat brings me home. Let’s my chattering mind know it is time to get quiet. Time to breath. To sit. To let some junk go.

If this all sounds too good for words you can check out a yin class here:

In Vancouver:

- YYoga http://www.yyoga.ca/ ( my favourite class is Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday with Ingrid Nilson)

- Semperviva http://www.semperviva.com/classes.php

In Calgary:

- Yoga Santosha http://www.yogasantosha.ca/schedule.php

- Yoga Shala http://www.yogashalacalgary.com/wednesday.php

When I practice, I come home.

As I sit here watching the dragon boats go by, the Yaletown dogs going for their evening walks, I am sticking to my guns on this whole path of least resistance, going with the flow of life thing.


It is falling into place and I can see the bigger picture a little more clearly. I am starting to see that when things are right they do come a little easier. Once again, being honest, laying the cards on the table, works when what you are going after is in line with what you really want. Trying to cover up the parts of your life and yourself that you think aren't gets you only so far. Being honest and embracing them creates the opportunity for greatness. ACTUAL greatness. The kind of greatness where you freakout a little in awe that you are getting exactly what you want and were always afraid to ask for for fear of falling flat.  Now I am not saying this is a fool proof method. That being vulnerable in combination with confidence will get you anything. If that was true I would have a pony. And maybe that coral coloured blazer I am coveting from aritzia. If it is not right this doesn't work. If the job, the boy, the what-ever isn't what is meant for you then it isn't going to happen this easily.  


I wont lie a lot of hard work is going into this too. Giving it up, taking a risk, working hard for something is essential but when it works out and you are still happy and reasonably balanced at the end of the day just be grateful and take it. Be happy. Go with the flow. Take your failures (they are not bad) and your lessons learned and your hard work and get what you want. 


So Vancouver is warming on me needless to say. Delicious affordable sushi (literally 5 places within a block of me), beautiful scenery, amazing opportunities. I am getting back to a consistent yoga practice and am reminded of all the things I love about it. Despite this, and the view this evening I still miss the Alberta sky.


‎"I come from the prairies. When I practice, I come home. Home to the familiar expanse of a never-ending sky. Home to solid land that stretches in all directions. Home to a place in my heart that is always there, no matter where I am." - Ingrid Nilson

We'd Look Good Side by Side Walking Back to the Hotel

Albert Einstein defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. A close friend and fellow insane person posted in her own blog 'Intricate and Simple' this morning on the same subject. It got me thinking, thinking about how I beat my head against a wall sometimes thinking that at any moment I will be able to walk through, or better yet get a job, accepted into school, find love, be successful and be a really fast runner. Einstein surely would laugh.


I also got to thinking about all the changes I have made and the expectations of new results I attached to them. I left my job, the one I loved, the one that changed me, the one that I held onto longer than anything else. Ever. I left my city that I had fallen head over heels for. I left my friends. The ones who I grew up with, and I really don't mean went from being children to teens or young adults with, I mean the ones who I played big with, made mistakes, learned from. We manned up and grew up together.


I had big expectations for all of this. Life was going to be perfect. Life was going to be different. The funny thing is that while I made these grand gestures to the gods of change and results maybe they weren't the changes that Einstein was talking about. Changing where you live doesn't fix all the things that were holding you back in the place where you came from. It's like cutting your hair and expecting the cost of oil to go down (yes, that intense randomness was intentional). If you want to find a job go look, learn interview skills, do a little research. Change those areas that you want to see change in. Then maybe some results will surface. 


All in all, I don't mean to belittle the choices I have made. I am a big supporter of learning from everything and against some of my training, I believe that most things happen for a reason, even if that reason is to teach you don't need to add meaning to everything. The best decision, the change that created a leap instead of a step in the direction I envision for myself, was letting go of my career that I clung to and creating the space for everything to fall into place. But you probably already knew that. It was changing the right thing for the right results. Some of my other choices... not so much.


Lastly, today was a good day. Patience is a virtue I rarely posses with myself. I like things to happen now. I have been beating my head against that previously mentioned wall waiting for it to all change.  This morning it did. School is much closer to becoming a reality than I had anticipated. Knowing I am one step closer to a path has me excited to stop wandering aimlessly without a compass. I also picked up the June edition of the Yoga Journal this morning. No big deal, flipping through was my first published photo! (Page 35, June 2011 issue) I had been anxiously awaiting this moment since January. All this good news had me reflecting further on Einstein's definition. Maybe it is letting go of what doesn't serve us, maybe it is changing the things we want to be different in our lives, and likely it is having patience with ourselves and the universe while we wait for what will happen next.


Big love from West coast.