Albert Einstein defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. A close friend and fellow insane person posted in her own blog 'Intricate and Simple' this morning on the same subject. It got me thinking, thinking about how I beat my head against a wall sometimes thinking that at any moment I will be able to walk through, or better yet get a job, accepted into school, find love, be successful and be a really fast runner. Einstein surely would laugh.
I also got to thinking about all the changes I have made and the expectations of new results I attached to them. I left my job, the one I loved, the one that changed me, the one that I held onto longer than anything else. Ever. I left my city that I had fallen head over heels for. I left my friends. The ones who I grew up with, and I really don't mean went from being children to teens or young adults with, I mean the ones who I played big with, made mistakes, learned from. We manned up and grew up together.
I had big expectations for all of this. Life was going to be perfect. Life was going to be different. The funny thing is that while I made these grand gestures to the gods of change and results maybe they weren't the changes that Einstein was talking about. Changing where you live doesn't fix all the things that were holding you back in the place where you came from. It's like cutting your hair and expecting the cost of oil to go down (yes, that intense randomness was intentional). If you want to find a job go look, learn interview skills, do a little research. Change those areas that you want to see change in. Then maybe some results will surface.
All in all, I don't mean to belittle the choices I have made. I am a big supporter of learning from everything and against some of my training, I believe that most things happen for a reason, even if that reason is to teach you don't need to add meaning to everything. The best decision, the change that created a leap instead of a step in the direction I envision for myself, was letting go of my career that I clung to and creating the space for everything to fall into place. But you probably already knew that. It was changing the right thing for the right results. Some of my other choices... not so much.
Lastly, today was a good day. Patience is a virtue I rarely posses with myself. I like things to happen now. I have been beating my head against that previously mentioned wall waiting for it to all change. This morning it did. School is much closer to becoming a reality than I had anticipated. Knowing I am one step closer to a path has me excited to stop wandering aimlessly without a compass. I also picked up the June edition of the Yoga Journal this morning. No big deal, flipping through was my first published photo! (Page 35, June 2011 issue) I had been anxiously awaiting this moment since January. All this good news had me reflecting further on Einstein's definition. Maybe it is letting go of what doesn't serve us, maybe it is changing the things we want to be different in our lives, and likely it is having patience with ourselves and the universe while we wait for what will happen next.
Big love from West coast.
I also got to thinking about all the changes I have made and the expectations of new results I attached to them. I left my job, the one I loved, the one that changed me, the one that I held onto longer than anything else. Ever. I left my city that I had fallen head over heels for. I left my friends. The ones who I grew up with, and I really don't mean went from being children to teens or young adults with, I mean the ones who I played big with, made mistakes, learned from. We manned up and grew up together.
I had big expectations for all of this. Life was going to be perfect. Life was going to be different. The funny thing is that while I made these grand gestures to the gods of change and results maybe they weren't the changes that Einstein was talking about. Changing where you live doesn't fix all the things that were holding you back in the place where you came from. It's like cutting your hair and expecting the cost of oil to go down (yes, that intense randomness was intentional). If you want to find a job go look, learn interview skills, do a little research. Change those areas that you want to see change in. Then maybe some results will surface.
All in all, I don't mean to belittle the choices I have made. I am a big supporter of learning from everything and against some of my training, I believe that most things happen for a reason, even if that reason is to teach you don't need to add meaning to everything. The best decision, the change that created a leap instead of a step in the direction I envision for myself, was letting go of my career that I clung to and creating the space for everything to fall into place. But you probably already knew that. It was changing the right thing for the right results. Some of my other choices... not so much.
Lastly, today was a good day. Patience is a virtue I rarely posses with myself. I like things to happen now. I have been beating my head against that previously mentioned wall waiting for it to all change. This morning it did. School is much closer to becoming a reality than I had anticipated. Knowing I am one step closer to a path has me excited to stop wandering aimlessly without a compass. I also picked up the June edition of the Yoga Journal this morning. No big deal, flipping through was my first published photo! (Page 35, June 2011 issue) I had been anxiously awaiting this moment since January. All this good news had me reflecting further on Einstein's definition. Maybe it is letting go of what doesn't serve us, maybe it is changing the things we want to be different in our lives, and likely it is having patience with ourselves and the universe while we wait for what will happen next.
Big love from West coast.
This post was beautiful and inspiring. I still remember the day I sat next to you during a group interview and I thought to myself - I want to have her spark, her energy, her brightness. <3
ReplyDeleteThat means the world coming from you! Hope all is well in Calgary you beautiful lady!
ReplyDelete