I should be doing work. Oh god, I should be planning the details of at least one of the two weddings we're having this summer. Seriously, at the very least I should be pricing out movers and packing up our tiny condo in preparation for moving next month. No, I really should be working.
I shouldn't be eating shawarma on the couch writing this. But it's been too long and I can't help it. I need to write and because the universe has been giving me sign after sign that I have ignored it all came to a head today and I feel I have nothing else to do but get back into the practice of putting words down here.
Life is crazy right now. Like it was 3 or 4 years ago when we were in the throws of applying for and completing our MBA . Like it is for so many people in this city, country and across the world. Probably more busy and stressful than it is for me but that's not the point of this ramble. The fact is that it is when I have the least time, the least motivation to do that which inspires and energizes me that is when I need this the most, when I need to write to understand, feel gratitude for what I have in my life and when I need to look deeper at the everyday to find the extraordinary, the beauty in the everything.
It's not the same as it used to be. I'm not sure whether it is a difference of physical place that holds me back or a lack of control in my life that stops me from being vulnerable. All I know is that usually I am inspired and motivated most when I am standing in nothing. It is when everything is up in the air that I am the most grounded. Knowing this and feeling neither grounded or free I know I have to work at that which fills the gap, sort of a fake it till I make it type game plan. Too much seems at risk right now and so instead of waiting to until it all shifts the other direction I need to get back to the practice. It's my mat that takes me home, writing that helps make sense of the chaos and my camera that helps me filter the world.
I shouldn't be eating shawarma on the couch writing this. But it's been too long and I can't help it. I need to write and because the universe has been giving me sign after sign that I have ignored it all came to a head today and I feel I have nothing else to do but get back into the practice of putting words down here.
Life is crazy right now. Like it was 3 or 4 years ago when we were in the throws of applying for and completing our MBA . Like it is for so many people in this city, country and across the world. Probably more busy and stressful than it is for me but that's not the point of this ramble. The fact is that it is when I have the least time, the least motivation to do that which inspires and energizes me that is when I need this the most, when I need to write to understand, feel gratitude for what I have in my life and when I need to look deeper at the everyday to find the extraordinary, the beauty in the everything.
It's not the same as it used to be. I'm not sure whether it is a difference of physical place that holds me back or a lack of control in my life that stops me from being vulnerable. All I know is that usually I am inspired and motivated most when I am standing in nothing. It is when everything is up in the air that I am the most grounded. Knowing this and feeling neither grounded or free I know I have to work at that which fills the gap, sort of a fake it till I make it type game plan. Too much seems at risk right now and so instead of waiting to until it all shifts the other direction I need to get back to the practice. It's my mat that takes me home, writing that helps make sense of the chaos and my camera that helps me filter the world.
