She's Electric.

The great teachers say 'you are where you are meant to be, you are here'. Tonight, when I needed something more, I was meant to be in a room of the most inspiring and loving group of women.

These days I am a little self centred. It is not in the manner that I am constantly putting myself above others, no, in fact I am still struggling to do that more. I am simply very introspective, my world revolves around my life, my day, how I feel. I feel very stuck in the middle, out growing (maybe just no longer interested) in what was so appealing before and drawn toward other new adventures but maybe not quite ready. I feel like I have one foot on each side of the gap and haven't quite worked up the nerve to jump forward. Needless to say tonight was what I needed. Way more than I expected.

It was my first baby shower and to be honest I had a haughty sense of disinterest in the matter covering up a large dose of fear. Now, don't get me wrong, I love babies and I love the mother to be more than I can explain. She is truly my oldest and dearest friend. My disinterest was not aimed at her nor her lovely friends who planned such a wonderful evening. It truly was a defence mechanism to hide behind. Covering up a nagging feeling that I wasn't far enough along. Arriving I had no idea what to expect. What I  received was an opportunity to connect with beautiful, intelligent, brave women from all different backgrounds, educations and facets of my T's life. In the room I still felt a little alone in the crowd. Like an island standing firm in the crashing surf. Slowly the rough coastline being washed away by the soft and yielding water. I met women who, in honestly I am not sure if they knew how strong, brave, stunning they were. Each was magnificent in their naivety to it. Each at a very different stage in life, regardless of marital status, number of children, stage of pregnancy or place in their education or career. Each exactly where they were meant to be.

It may be needless to say that I was truly moved and inspired by how much love there was. The effort and thought into each of the gifts, the fact that so many busy women came by, the kind words that were spoke. Everyone coming together simply because they love my oldest friend and her child. That is what is truly remarkable about women, that is what is remarkable about the girls in my life.

All said and done I walked away with a very different outlook on where I stand in the scheme of things that when I entered that room tonight. It is ok that I feel in the middle, that is where the growth happens, the adventure occurs, the fun spills over. Sounds pretty great to me.