Thursday, September 18, 2014

Crossing the Tree Line

It's been an uphill journey lately. I am not unfamiliar with climbing mountains, I know it's hardest before you reach the top, before experiencing vistas you can't quite be sure are real they are so beautiful and before you forget that you just dragged your ass up a rocky Stair Master for hours on end with seemingly all your worldly possessions on your back. Before being literally on top of the world there is the other part. The part that is filled with moments of doubt, in the dark before crossing over through the tree line. Those are the minutes or hours when legs are fatigued, after the first three quarters of the climb, sweat gets in your eyes (or is it tears) and since you can't quite be sure how far away the end is the thought of turning around is still a possibility. This is where I am right now, only years growing up out west learning to judge the distance to the top, or where at the end of the lake the portage take out must be, haven't prepared me for this. It's been four cities in five years, approaching my third job hunt in two and change, I can't seem to get my footing or figure out my next step. I can't see the top, judge the distance and not to over do the metaphor, my pack is getting heavy. Fortunately for me the universe has a tendency of being on my side, especially when I need it the most. I forget that when I look, when inspiration can find me working,  the people, things and opportunities I need come into my life.

I am not sure what the next six months hold for me, or even the next six weeks but over the past little while the inspiration I've been long looking for is trickling in. Soon the pressure will be too much, the dam will break and all at once I will figure out the next step on the path, I will turn the corner, see the summit is here and look out over the journey I've just made. Clarity and possibility is just up the path, how many switch backs can be left? So in this moment of foggy uncertainly I must thank those around me, new acquaintances (members of the same tribe of feisty women), family, best friends and those I will be meeting next. I am grateful for the camera I picked up last weekend, the stars I gazed at and the otters we saw playing in the pond after the rain stopped. I am grateful that I can come back to my yoga mat, blacker than Alberta soil and just as grounding, and this blog, writing here brings me home.

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