Monday, September 29, 2014

The Road Back Home

It came in the mail today. Like every other book this one could be the one that changes it all. Or just changes one tiny thing that I'll never forget.

For a while I gave up on books, originally it was just physical copies and I would fill my iPad with e-books like it was my job. Mind you I was travelling a lot more, packing light and all that. Then I just stopped buying them all together, they were a luxury I couldn't fit into my budget. But in the last few weeks it's back. While most of my library lives across the country, a byproduct of the whole 4 cities in 5 years thing, I want to build a new one here and got back at it. The first of the dozen new books came tonight and it's a juicy one. The Desire Map by Danielle LaPort is something I've wanted to pick up for a while. A fresh take on goal setting.

Funny enough a lot of the person who I was is showing up again. The person I was when it was really good. When I was ballsy and felt like a rock star. When I made choices and stuck to them, as long as the felt right. When I did things that aligned with my values, not because someone said I should, because someone said it would be good for my career, a good grown up decision. I am sick of feeling like a fraud, like I have to work so hard at being someone else everyday that when I get home I am exhausted. I am finally breaking and it is amazing.

Like building a library I am also reaching to set new goals, to hit my mat, to laugh and drink wine and take chances, I am beginning to see that the universe is conspiring in my favour but it's not going to wait around forever. Now is the time to get back to being the girl who inspired others, who led with integrity, who had so much damn fun that sometimes she was hungover on a weekday.

So I won't say here's to new beginnings because I don't need to go somewhere else or find something out there, I will say, here's to taking the road back home, to where I know I've been before. 

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