Living alone has taught me a few things.
There is no one to clean the kitchen or take out the garbage but me. This means I have to do it. If not, I am the one who lives with the consequences and they're not pretty. I am also the one who digs out my own car if it gets stuck. Thank god I drive a Volvo and this rarely happens. I am the one who double checks the doors are locked and who fills the fridge. If anything is missing it's just me. This is normal stuff, I get it. I am just saying.
The big lessons haven't come from the grownup stuff though. Living alone has taught me the beauty of laughing till I cry and crying till I laugh. Daily. Usually it is a song that comes on, an email from a friend. Some thing I see on TV. Yesterday I read a random blog post and fell out of my chair laughing and laughed so hard I cried. Today I watched a TED Talk as I emptied the dishwasher and stood crying, out loud, in my kitchen, over the beauty and truth in the words that were spoken. Before the 'roommates' left I wouldn't have been brave enough to do these things so blatantly.
Living alone has taught me to see the value and authenticity in myself. If I want to make a delicious meal and drink a big ole glass of wine I do it. I laugh, cry, walk around scantly dressed because I am finally ok with me. I am enough. I listen to pop music obscenely loud when I'm in the shower so I can't hear my own voice when I sing. I practice yoga after midnight. I created a studio on our antique dinning room table.
Living alone has given me the freedom, space and inspiration to be exactly who I am and who I want to be every hour of everyday. It has let me see the beauty in both strength and... being less strong (yeah I'm still not ok enough with it to say weakness... perhaps vulnerability is a word I can be at peace with). It has empowered me to make any decision I feel with just myself to answer to and it has taught me to learn with the consequences of those decisions. Today I bought perfect red shoes - no take out for a few days I guess.
There is no one to clean the kitchen or take out the garbage but me. This means I have to do it. If not, I am the one who lives with the consequences and they're not pretty. I am also the one who digs out my own car if it gets stuck. Thank god I drive a Volvo and this rarely happens. I am the one who double checks the doors are locked and who fills the fridge. If anything is missing it's just me. This is normal stuff, I get it. I am just saying.
The big lessons haven't come from the grownup stuff though. Living alone has taught me the beauty of laughing till I cry and crying till I laugh. Daily. Usually it is a song that comes on, an email from a friend. Some thing I see on TV. Yesterday I read a random blog post and fell out of my chair laughing and laughed so hard I cried. Today I watched a TED Talk as I emptied the dishwasher and stood crying, out loud, in my kitchen, over the beauty and truth in the words that were spoken. Before the 'roommates' left I wouldn't have been brave enough to do these things so blatantly.
Living alone has taught me to see the value and authenticity in myself. If I want to make a delicious meal and drink a big ole glass of wine I do it. I laugh, cry, walk around scantly dressed because I am finally ok with me. I am enough. I listen to pop music obscenely loud when I'm in the shower so I can't hear my own voice when I sing. I practice yoga after midnight. I created a studio on our antique dinning room table.
Living alone has given me the freedom, space and inspiration to be exactly who I am and who I want to be every hour of everyday. It has let me see the beauty in both strength and... being less strong (yeah I'm still not ok enough with it to say weakness... perhaps vulnerability is a word I can be at peace with). It has empowered me to make any decision I feel with just myself to answer to and it has taught me to learn with the consequences of those decisions. Today I bought perfect red shoes - no take out for a few days I guess.
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