Friday, October 28, 2011

Days like this.

When it rains it pours. Today was one of those days in Vancouver. I stepped out of my car at the other end of West 4th and was hit with fat drops, soaking the canvas of my shoes, sliding off the protective finish of my coat. Life was like this today as well.

It's hard not to create, to open up possibilities when honesty is so profoundly saturated in my life these days. It all started with a trip to the career centre at school. I have been avoiding meeting with my counsellor mostly because I don't have a clear picture of what I want. The fact that so many others seemed to have a path and I didn't scared me. What I didn't get was that was the point. I have half an hour of prime time with someone who is doing what I want to do. Who has the resources, advice and guidance that is so valuable to me. I missed out a bit simply because I didn't cowboy up and get myself into her office. That being said after our chat I feel I so clear. It all feels like it is going to fall into place, it is exciting and there are opportunities I wasn't even aware of. I walked away from our meeting feeling empowered, excited and a little lighter. I was on the road, I have direction... just not destination.

Luckily I had a half hour break then off to my leadership coaching session. This is where the magic happens folks. I came in with my breakthroughs and learnings from the last month but what I really wanted to dig into were two distinctions. First I was intrigued about my seemingly conflicting values of being authentic and being liked. We dug into what that looks like, how those two aspects can be defined and redefined to fit together. Lately I have seen that they really are one and the same and who knows... I can get on board with the idea that I really only want people to like me if they like me for who I am.

The other piece, and perhaps more up the alley of this writing here was the entangled, integrated, cycle of learning and creativity in my life. It started talking about not having enough time to put into my writing and photography that I would ideally like to but grew from there. We talked about this. Yup, Heart Skipped A Beat. And it turns out, as you probably know, that this means the world to me. It is my practice field. It is my lens not only to view my world and those in but to be viewed through in turn. There is no re-describing, there is no looking good, there is no miscommunication. This is who I am. It is me at my most vulnerable. Really, it is me at my peak. A little insight into the mind of one other person. It is my forum for learning and for creativity.

We talk about what we would save from a fire, if we only get to salvage what we can carry in our arms.
What I am learning about what I value is that it has less and less to do with money, with material things and more and more all it has to with is words, images and putting it all together.


No comments:

Post a Comment