I collect words and images. I have books, journals, memory cards, hard drives and 2 computers full of them. Ideas and memories, my own or others, fill the spaces of my room, my heart and my mind.
It is with such care that I picked tonight out of time and space. I don't often get time to myself in this city. More precious still is driving time. Alone in a vehicle is pure magic to me. Tonight was a taste of that freedom and independence and it tugged hard and fast at the heart strings in my chest. Warm air when it is cool and damp out side and tunes on the stereo make life sweet. I was strategic tonight, knowing I had about 15 minutes of quality time driving back from an enlightening dinner on the north shore. I put on a little Bon Iver and settled into the drivers seat. Crossing the bridge with the lights leading me home I was struck. Struck by the lack of space. I have felt this weight, this pressure like not being able to catch my breath. It is better when I am busy, it is better when I am out on campus, near more open ocean. Tonight, after too many to be coincidental, talks of what makes Albertans special it all came up at once. I was wracked with longing for big sky, open land, space to breath and move and figure it all out. To be fair I have a pretty exceptional case of cabin fever these days which plays a role. Weaving my way through stanley park, the fog rolling across the road, all I could think of was snow. How there were just things we did and do to get through the winters at home. How those things were what bonded us together. How Albertans are the kind of people who embrace that. They don't shy away.
I am learning a lot lately about what it means to have character. It keeps coming back to setbacks, obstacles, challenges and the choices we make as a result. Hardship teaches us about ourselves and makes each subsequent hardship a little easier to deal with. It is all about grace.
It is with such care that I picked tonight out of time and space. I don't often get time to myself in this city. More precious still is driving time. Alone in a vehicle is pure magic to me. Tonight was a taste of that freedom and independence and it tugged hard and fast at the heart strings in my chest. Warm air when it is cool and damp out side and tunes on the stereo make life sweet. I was strategic tonight, knowing I had about 15 minutes of quality time driving back from an enlightening dinner on the north shore. I put on a little Bon Iver and settled into the drivers seat. Crossing the bridge with the lights leading me home I was struck. Struck by the lack of space. I have felt this weight, this pressure like not being able to catch my breath. It is better when I am busy, it is better when I am out on campus, near more open ocean. Tonight, after too many to be coincidental, talks of what makes Albertans special it all came up at once. I was wracked with longing for big sky, open land, space to breath and move and figure it all out. To be fair I have a pretty exceptional case of cabin fever these days which plays a role. Weaving my way through stanley park, the fog rolling across the road, all I could think of was snow. How there were just things we did and do to get through the winters at home. How those things were what bonded us together. How Albertans are the kind of people who embrace that. They don't shy away.
I am learning a lot lately about what it means to have character. It keeps coming back to setbacks, obstacles, challenges and the choices we make as a result. Hardship teaches us about ourselves and makes each subsequent hardship a little easier to deal with. It is all about grace.
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