Exhaustion like this hasn't been a reality in a long time. Less than 12 hours sleep over 4 days may have been pushing it a little bit. It was all worth it though. The things that are often make the uncomfortable seem less significant.
I spent my weekend in edmonton with 39 classmates and 500 of my new closest friends for 3 days of MBA Games. As incredibly feisty underdogs we has our eyes on the Queen's Cup... and Alberta's affordable liquor prices. Over the weekend we cheered our voices off, danced harder, spider monkey-ed in the pool, played ops simulations like it was our job. We rode bulls, some of us better than others, we danced some more... and we had time to have a few drinks and make some friends along the way. At the end of it all we won none of the individual events but came 3rd over all. We joked that we were great at nothing but ok at everything. I disagree. 3rd place was the best finish of a Western Canadian school this year, it is also the best UBC has ever finished. We fought for each point we received and we just happened to do it our own way. Not only did we work hard this weekend but we played harder. I am sincerely convinced that we were happier about how we did than the champion team was about winning the whole event.
This weekend was also more significant for me than just a good time away and a little friendly competition. I walked away with a better appreciation for the amazing people in my life. The people who don't let me back down from anything. The people who make potentially unnerving or awkward situations easier to handle. The people that take care of me even when I am at my worst. I am often worried that when I am run down and busy, constantly on the move with little consideration for taking care of myself, that people won't want me around, that I won't add value to teams but I am beginning to see that maybe this 'worst version' is really not so bad. Maybe this is who I am and when I am too tired or sore or what ever I am forced to dig a little deeper to get through, knowing that I am supported by those around me, knowing that I am leaving it all on the table. As ever I am so grateful for those in my program and those in my life. I couldn't be luckier.
Sitting in my room this afternoon I could feel the sinews twitching under my skin, almost undetectable. I need something new, I need something more. I need an adventure. I need to feel like I am pushing myself for something worth it. It's hard, not knowing where I am going and only just beginning to comprehend the possibilities. School fills some of the void but most of me understands that this feeling is the one I get when ever its time for change. Time for something more. Time to shake off some of what holds me back. This weekend in all its glory brought back some of what it feels like to be doing that but who knows what else will.
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