Sometimes the important questions are the hardest to ask. You put off saying things or having conversations because the risk is not adequately compensated. You can convince yourself for a while that it will happen when it needs to and you don't have time to worry about it now and even if you did, don't you just want to look laid back and cool? You live of the west coast darn it! But it is when asking those questions, to your self or the ones you need to ask, becomes what fills your core and you feel like you are beating your head against a glass wall, unable to move forward but unable to see clearly what is holding you back.
What holds me back is that my questions are for the most part un answerable and even if I did get a clear response I am not sure what I would do with it. I feel I am not alone in this. Many of us, for what ever reason, hold back for a multitude of reasons. The top of my list usually include not coming across the way I want, not looking good, sounding smart, seeming to have my shit together. They also include losing things I worked hard to get. It seems like a clear answer to my easily convinced brain. What it sometimes forgets to include is what I would get from saying what I need to. I would get clarity of my next step, I would get peace of mind that I am not wasting my time and energy. I would have a better understanding of what I need to do to get where I want to go.
So it is like so many other things comes down to one thing... having the courage to do what is necessary. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. In the case of saying and asking for answers to what holds you back takes such a persistence to act in the face of fear. Fortitude is one of my favourite words in the english language. It means, according to my grade 7 "Words are Important" book, courageous endurance of hardship. That overstates the anxiety of conversations by a mile. It keeps in perspective the bravery it takes to tell yourself, to ask those around you, to help you solve what aches you.
What holds me back is that my questions are for the most part un answerable and even if I did get a clear response I am not sure what I would do with it. I feel I am not alone in this. Many of us, for what ever reason, hold back for a multitude of reasons. The top of my list usually include not coming across the way I want, not looking good, sounding smart, seeming to have my shit together. They also include losing things I worked hard to get. It seems like a clear answer to my easily convinced brain. What it sometimes forgets to include is what I would get from saying what I need to. I would get clarity of my next step, I would get peace of mind that I am not wasting my time and energy. I would have a better understanding of what I need to do to get where I want to go.
So it is like so many other things comes down to one thing... having the courage to do what is necessary. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. In the case of saying and asking for answers to what holds you back takes such a persistence to act in the face of fear. Fortitude is one of my favourite words in the english language. It means, according to my grade 7 "Words are Important" book, courageous endurance of hardship. That overstates the anxiety of conversations by a mile. It keeps in perspective the bravery it takes to tell yourself, to ask those around you, to help you solve what aches you.
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