Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The imprint of longing and distance.

So first day back at the grind and of course that means I have so much more to write about than when I am not around the people that make me laugh and inspire the pants off me.

Firstly, I fucking love school. I try not to swear here but that was the thought that kept running through my head  in class today while the Prof tried to gage the competency of our "finance for artists" class... that's what we call it anyway. All I could think of with a big goofy grin on my face was how much I had missed being around these people and this environment where I am constantly learning about something new and interesting. It was just another moment that affirmed what a spectacular choice/twist of fate being in this program has been.

Also came to the hilarious realization that I make to do lists simply to avoid doing things. I will make lists till the cows come home (is that an Alberta only saying?) but then proceed only to do the most simple tasks on the list. I feel as though it would be considerably more productive and likely more satisfying to check the big things off my  list that I have been avoiding, such as practicing for our MBA games dance routine. I am happy to 'pick up laundry detergent' but have been putting off 're-writing my vision'. This awareness may do little towards actually changing this habit, I feel satisfaction in checking things off my list, but it is nice to smile to myself as I notice what I have been avoiding and perhaps it will give me a little boost in motivation to do something about it.


Lastly, I realized how hard it is to miss people that normally hold space in your life. Strange enough more and more people I care about tend to not be in the same place as I am. I have a dear friend, a twin, who lives on the other side of the world. People who I care about live in Toronto, 3 hrs time difference and thousands of miles away. Many of my close friends still live in Calgary and even my parents have relocated to the remote. I feel this is a symptom of the wonder that is our global community. It is increasingly easy to meet people from other places and for people who come from the same soil and sky to leave for bright beaches and foreign voices. I am grateful for things like the internet and for phones and picture text messages more than I thought I would ever be, at times they make the distance a little less and yet that closeness reminds me that those people are too far away for the simply things. We can't go for coffee or a drink, physically console each other after a bad day or share a hug in celebration. Distance is a funny thing and in these young lives of ours it is more common and I believe more challenging to be in these relationships. Spread thin, stretched far. One of life's great pleasures that is sharply contrasted against icy prairie flats and vast deep oceans.


1 comment:

  1. You did have a pretty awesome grin on your face today. And I'd share a hug any time :)

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