I am addicted to twitter for a plethora of reasons. I am intrigued by the lives of pro and semi-pro skiers. It's a little creepy I admit. I enjoy photographic updates by everyone from old friends to the industry standard that is National Geographic. I am also addicted to twitter for its brief moments of truth and inspiration. Tonight just such a moment occurred and from a somewhat surprising source, a dear friend who might not be known to share his feelings or intentions so clearly. " Sometimes growing up means manning up." - Simple words and yet, isn't that what we are all trying to do? Have the balls to do what we need to do, to go where we want to go?
This sums up my weekend. Just a few lessons in both 'manning up' and 'growing up'. Saturday night I caught up with my two best friends. They have known me longer than most people and are willing to call me on any thing and everything. You, yes you reading this, may have noticed I have been floundering a bit as of late. I was refusing to do either of the things my friend so wisely suggested. I couldn't make a decision, couldn't commit to anything. I hadn't really shared these fears and uncertainty either. I can say now that this was the first step. Thank you friends who let me clear with you what was keeping me up at night. Getting it all out in the open and realizing that it would be ok was so important. After a few glasses of wine unfortunately, this step needed to be repeated... to another set of unsuspecting victims.
In a refusal to grow up I hadn't been brave enough to make any choices, to deal with anything that I had been holding onto so tightly. The next morning I felt lighter, more relaxed, a tiny bit hung over. Ready for what was next.
I am happy to take advice from where ever it comes, especially if I am paying for it. What becomes a little agitating, both in the increasing cost incurred and in my ability to see that I do not take direction easily sometimes, is when I get the same information from five different sources. Sunday morning started with our annual girls trip to the tarot card reader. We do this when our friend from the west is in town and every year we get answers, and a little freaked out. What I didn't expect was to hear the exact same thing my phycisian, my naturopath, my coach, my friends and my family had been telling me for months from my... psychic. Now it's one thing to hear about the qualities you posses that give you results in life and that hold you back (sometimes they are one and the same) from some one who asks you probing questions about your mental and physical health. It is another completely to place your hands in those of someone you just met, someone who doesn't even know your name, and to have them recognize those same traits. It was a combination of this very blunt description of the life I have been living from a complete stranger with the clearing I had the evening before that caused a very physical reaction to this very emotional process. I had let go of what I was holding onto, giving up the fear of change and coming to terms with what it was about me that was preventing me from... manning up and growing up.
Looking past this for the last day and a half, I can say with certainty I am moving west, I even have a date picked. I give up my attachment to the people and things that aren't serving me. My grad school applications are in the mail or fast on their way to completion. I am content with my life and where it is going, taking it off my list of great fears where I had placed it a few weeks ago along side a flat bum, sharks, and living on a fault line.
I know there will be times where I need to be brave, to take those steps and leaps towards the vision and goals I will achieve. This was the first.
This sums up my weekend. Just a few lessons in both 'manning up' and 'growing up'. Saturday night I caught up with my two best friends. They have known me longer than most people and are willing to call me on any thing and everything. You, yes you reading this, may have noticed I have been floundering a bit as of late. I was refusing to do either of the things my friend so wisely suggested. I couldn't make a decision, couldn't commit to anything. I hadn't really shared these fears and uncertainty either. I can say now that this was the first step. Thank you friends who let me clear with you what was keeping me up at night. Getting it all out in the open and realizing that it would be ok was so important. After a few glasses of wine unfortunately, this step needed to be repeated... to another set of unsuspecting victims.
In a refusal to grow up I hadn't been brave enough to make any choices, to deal with anything that I had been holding onto so tightly. The next morning I felt lighter, more relaxed, a tiny bit hung over. Ready for what was next.
I am happy to take advice from where ever it comes, especially if I am paying for it. What becomes a little agitating, both in the increasing cost incurred and in my ability to see that I do not take direction easily sometimes, is when I get the same information from five different sources. Sunday morning started with our annual girls trip to the tarot card reader. We do this when our friend from the west is in town and every year we get answers, and a little freaked out. What I didn't expect was to hear the exact same thing my phycisian, my naturopath, my coach, my friends and my family had been telling me for months from my... psychic. Now it's one thing to hear about the qualities you posses that give you results in life and that hold you back (sometimes they are one and the same) from some one who asks you probing questions about your mental and physical health. It is another completely to place your hands in those of someone you just met, someone who doesn't even know your name, and to have them recognize those same traits. It was a combination of this very blunt description of the life I have been living from a complete stranger with the clearing I had the evening before that caused a very physical reaction to this very emotional process. I had let go of what I was holding onto, giving up the fear of change and coming to terms with what it was about me that was preventing me from... manning up and growing up.
Looking past this for the last day and a half, I can say with certainty I am moving west, I even have a date picked. I give up my attachment to the people and things that aren't serving me. My grad school applications are in the mail or fast on their way to completion. I am content with my life and where it is going, taking it off my list of great fears where I had placed it a few weeks ago along side a flat bum, sharks, and living on a fault line.
I know there will be times where I need to be brave, to take those steps and leaps towards the vision and goals I will achieve. This was the first.
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