So I've let myself get a little wrapped up in things lately. A lot of free time will do that to a person prone to navel gazing.
I have had a vice in my chest pressing down with the weight all the shit I haven't done. The things I wouldn't just let go of. No space. I've been worried about not studying enough (easily solved), I have been stressing about relationships that are not even in peril, and I have been agonizing about wandering west. Well after a night that I was glad ended sooner than later I woke up at 5 am this morning with a clarity that rarely strikes me. I just knew. Meaning finally finding its place among the confusion I had created in my life. I have a funny concept ruling me right now. It's the old adage that everything happens for a reason, there is a time and place and sometimes it just isn't right. I am at a bit of standstill right here, right now, and it is creating the space for the next step. Nothing is holding me in place here. I can make excuses that summer prairie patios and potato pizzas are enough, that I can't find, or move, these things further west but in reality I know where I will end up - I just need let the space exist to hustle out there.
The perspective of a good sleep and a lack of thinking is truly inspiring. Instead of being so wrapped up in my own inconsequential issues I practiced the art of gratitude this morning on my brisk walk to the coffee shop. I smiled at everyone I saw, stopped to pat puppies, didn't scowl at the drivers turning left with little thought for pedestrians. The response shouldn't have surprised me but it did. People smiled back, they said good morning. They brightened my day and I theirs, all in the exchange of just being and just smiling.
I can't take all the credit for this insight this morning, a dear friend and fellow blogger was the catalyst for shredding that dark cloud. Her words constantly inspire me. That and my mum put me on to a new band (well new for me). I do love a good electric banjo.
I have had a vice in my chest pressing down with the weight all the shit I haven't done. The things I wouldn't just let go of. No space. I've been worried about not studying enough (easily solved), I have been stressing about relationships that are not even in peril, and I have been agonizing about wandering west. Well after a night that I was glad ended sooner than later I woke up at 5 am this morning with a clarity that rarely strikes me. I just knew. Meaning finally finding its place among the confusion I had created in my life. I have a funny concept ruling me right now. It's the old adage that everything happens for a reason, there is a time and place and sometimes it just isn't right. I am at a bit of standstill right here, right now, and it is creating the space for the next step. Nothing is holding me in place here. I can make excuses that summer prairie patios and potato pizzas are enough, that I can't find, or move, these things further west but in reality I know where I will end up - I just need let the space exist to hustle out there.
The perspective of a good sleep and a lack of thinking is truly inspiring. Instead of being so wrapped up in my own inconsequential issues I practiced the art of gratitude this morning on my brisk walk to the coffee shop. I smiled at everyone I saw, stopped to pat puppies, didn't scowl at the drivers turning left with little thought for pedestrians. The response shouldn't have surprised me but it did. People smiled back, they said good morning. They brightened my day and I theirs, all in the exchange of just being and just smiling.
I can't take all the credit for this insight this morning, a dear friend and fellow blogger was the catalyst for shredding that dark cloud. Her words constantly inspire me. That and my mum put me on to a new band (well new for me). I do love a good electric banjo.
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