Be still. Look inside. Trust the universe. All will come.
I am introspective to a fault. Usually I am adding meaning where it doesn't exist. My mind runs a mile a minute. I end up blogging at 11:30 when I should be in bed. Or better yet, out. Signs all point to taking time, to letting the future come to me instead of constantly chasing it, exhausting myself in the process. To breathing, stop stressing over what I can't control. To seeing the beauty in uncertainty and darkness just as in light. It would have been great to remember this today.
Today came with disappointment, with grey sky, with missed connections, with news from home that just didn't fit. I didn't feel myself, still recovering from what every violent illness has found its way in yesterday. Food poisoning now officially ruled out.
I spent a few hours at the Vancouver Art Gallery, an incredible space with some phenomenal exhibitions. Part of the Ken Lum exhibit was a mirror maze. It was bright and fun at first, never really knowing if what was in front of you was a mirror or part of the path through. 12 mirrors were numbered, each had a statement across them. The 12 signs of depression. It was unnerving and beautiful. In this maze of fractured self it was easy to relate to the signs, not necessarily because of a true depressed state but simply because I was looking into a mirror and clearly labelled with words "I can't sleep at night" or " I feel alone in the world". I would recommend it to anyone who is in town. Just try not to go when it is so gloomy out. It did let me look at how lucky I am even on my down days. I am blessed with amazing friends who refuse to give up on me no matter how hard I try to do it all on my own.
My best friend spent her afternoon coaching me for an upcoming interview and driving me to the grocery store. I felt so loved just having someone to connect with. And at the end of the day, no the world didn't end, that is all I can ask for. Someone to talk to, to sit with, to explore what this city and this world have to offer.
Oh and an amazing young woman from home sent me this. It lifted my spirits. Love.
I am introspective to a fault. Usually I am adding meaning where it doesn't exist. My mind runs a mile a minute. I end up blogging at 11:30 when I should be in bed. Or better yet, out. Signs all point to taking time, to letting the future come to me instead of constantly chasing it, exhausting myself in the process. To breathing, stop stressing over what I can't control. To seeing the beauty in uncertainty and darkness just as in light. It would have been great to remember this today.
Today came with disappointment, with grey sky, with missed connections, with news from home that just didn't fit. I didn't feel myself, still recovering from what every violent illness has found its way in yesterday. Food poisoning now officially ruled out.
I spent a few hours at the Vancouver Art Gallery, an incredible space with some phenomenal exhibitions. Part of the Ken Lum exhibit was a mirror maze. It was bright and fun at first, never really knowing if what was in front of you was a mirror or part of the path through. 12 mirrors were numbered, each had a statement across them. The 12 signs of depression. It was unnerving and beautiful. In this maze of fractured self it was easy to relate to the signs, not necessarily because of a true depressed state but simply because I was looking into a mirror and clearly labelled with words "I can't sleep at night" or " I feel alone in the world". I would recommend it to anyone who is in town. Just try not to go when it is so gloomy out. It did let me look at how lucky I am even on my down days. I am blessed with amazing friends who refuse to give up on me no matter how hard I try to do it all on my own.
My best friend spent her afternoon coaching me for an upcoming interview and driving me to the grocery store. I felt so loved just having someone to connect with. And at the end of the day, no the world didn't end, that is all I can ask for. Someone to talk to, to sit with, to explore what this city and this world have to offer.
Oh and an amazing young woman from home sent me this. It lifted my spirits. Love.
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