With so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one. But you put the happy in my ness, you put the good times into my fun.

My practice. It sustains me. Clears my head. Makes me a higher functioning human being. I went to a class tonight, my first hot flow class in FAR too long. Funny enough all day I had been thinking about my previous store manager. I was thinking about the impact she had made on who I had become. On how much I enjoyed working the retail floor with her, how much I enjoyed our yoga dates, how much I enjoyed solving all the problems of the business with her over a huge glass of red wine. I was thinking, more than anything, that I had not seen her in forever and that I missed her. So anyway, I turn up to this hot class, prepared to examine all my muscles that hadn't been toned lately, prepared to debate passing out, and low and behold she was teaching. Turns out she was having a day eerily similar to mine. She had wanted to chat about my new role with the company, to touch base with me on where I was, what I was up to, any and all exciting news that had come up in the previous months. The connection brought so much joy to me. The stars of the universe had aligned.


The thing I love about hot yoga is that, like a good shower, if you need to cry no one really notices. There is so much sweat, smudged make up and expression of fortitude that no one would ever guess i was crying and not simply working really hard to stretch my hips in pigeon.  I am desperately trying to get over my ego in terms of waterworks but somedays I just really hate for other to know that not all is in control in my life. I was having a pretty great, pretty lazy day but after a few postures that really get into opening the chest and hips I had had it. Folded over my bent front leg, my back leg extended behind me Ben Harper came on to the sound system. The song has a place in me that tugs at the heart strings every time. It stirs in me memories of my summers on the coast, the air ripe with blackberry and campfire, the sun warming the dock where I would lie on my back and listen to my boyish crushes strum this song on their guitars, vibrations in my head as I hummed along, ocean beneath me, clouds streaking the sky above. Folded there on my mat tonight I felt a longing for those days, those people, realizing what I have let slip from my life. I had a really good cry into my mat and as I did I could feel the tension ease out of my hips like melted butter. Sigh. good night.