And I plan to be forgotten when I'm gone...

I have come to understand one thing. It has taken me 25 years of a lot of failing and figuring out.  Like Bob Dylan says "All I can do is be me, whoever that is".  It is more liberating than feeling my skis leave earth dropping over a lip, more freeing than sailing a laser into the light, hiking way over the side. Now, I am not going to claim I had this all figured out for a long time but for the last week or two I have lived my life as who I am, no excuses. Do you know how liberating this is? It is UNBELIEVABLE. To be honest I think part of the fun is that it has a tendency of scaring the pants off everyone around me but it has suddenly taken all the stress out of life. This true authenticity really makes it easy to decide who will be part of my day to day existence and what I chose to do. If people don't like me or what I value and find beauty or meaning in than that is their choice and a disservice to both of us for me to fake otherwise. It leaves all parties disappointed. Being honest and open about my short comings has created the space for me to also celebrate my strengths and for others to share with me. I will not go back but simply use this discovery to grow more. Find more inspiration in the world. Sigh. I am in love with life.